Say You Hate Me
by Cakes Go Supernova
Summary: All Katsuki Bakugo wanted was for Deku to say three words. "I hate you." But those words never left the boy's lips. And then, he disappeared. AU, OOC.


"Say it. Say you hate me! Deku..!"

Deku looked down at his feet then half-turning to look back at Bakugo, he just smiled. Moments before the blast hit the green-haired boy, five words left his lips. Words the blonde could never live with himself for knowing.

Then, the blast hit... and every trace of what was Deku disappeared where he once stood. Every trace of the villain was also gone. Katsuki frantically scrambled to his feet, pushing past the pain in both of his knees and ran to where his childhood friend once stood. Nobody knew where he'd gone, but one thing was hauntingly clear.

Midoriya Izuku had disappeared off the face of the Earth and was never heard from again.

"Deku...?"

 **3 Years Later**

Bakugo looked at his calendar as he passed it on his way inside. A red circle outlined a date set for the following day. He numbly traced the date as his eyes went from their normal cold and distant self to a more somber and depressed state. He was always tired and always angry, though his anger had simmered down quite a bit since Midoriya's disappearance.

"Three years... where the hell did you go, Deku...?"

Nobody truly believed he was dead, but they didn't know where he was. After months of an international search, he was still missing. So, instead of expending the funds, they legally pronounced him dead. An honor was made for him at the school and he got his own spot at the cemetery in Musutafu. But everyone in Class 1-A that day believed he was still alive... somewhere.

Now, Bakugo was a graduate of UA and working for Best Jeanist, though he'd recently won a sponsorship from a tech company to start up his own office. He was Best Jeanist's best sidekick, but Bakugo had goals. He still needed to be Number 1. He wasn't doing this just for himself anymore. Midoriya also wanted to be number one.

 _"Wow~! Kacchan that was amazing! You beat them all up by yourself! And they're sixth graders!"_

 _Red eyes shone proudly at the words of praise as he smirked and wiped his nose. "It was nothing. They were picking on Deku, so of course I had to step in. Those jerks won't be bothering you anymore, Deku!"_

 _The broccoli-headed boy just grinned happily. "Thanks, Kacchan. You're my hero!"_

 _Bakugo's little heart swelled up inside his chest as little cheeks turned pink. He was Deku's hero. Not All Might. Him._

 _That was A-OK in Katsuki's book._

"Honestly... that's all I ever wanted from Deku... was for him to idolize me the way he did All Might. I wanted to be his Hero. I wanted to be his number one, but he was always looking at someone else... never me. I grew to resent that, hate it even... and I took it out on him..." Bakugo sighed as he looked at his clasped hands.

His therapist, Murakami Kurose, just nodded. "I see... he meant so much to you, that it hurt that you didn't mean the same amount to him... at least, as you perceived it. You never know someone's true feelings until you ask."

"Not gonna happen doc... well... it can't happen anyways... he's gone."

"But not dead. There's still a chance he might be alive right?"

Bakugo remained silent before rubbing his hands over his face and leaning back against the chair to look at the ceiling. "Maybe. There was no trace of him OR the villain. That's what makes me hopeful, is that the villain also disappeared. Why would they knowingly take themselves out as collateral? But still... it could've been a freak accident for them and Deku is really... dead... He was just vaporized... But I don't wanna believe that."

"Why?"

"He hasn't said he hates me yet... Until then, I can't go on... knowing that he..." The blonde scrunched his eyes closed, as if he were in immense pain. His thoughts drifted back to the day Midoriya disappeared.

 _"Say it. Say you hate me! Deku..!"_

 _Deku looked down at his feet then half-turning to look back at Bakugo, he just smiled. Moments before the blast hit the green-haired boy, five words left his lips._

 _"I can't do that, Kacchan."_

 _Suddenly, white engulfed the smaller boy as the villain's attack hit him dead-on. Seconds later, the light receded and what was left was absolutely nothing. No Deku. No villain. Both had mysteriously disappeared from the world._

Bakugo arrived back home for the second time that day, therapy taking away his energy. He'd never had considered it hadn't it been per Kirishima AND Inko's suggestion. He could've blown it off if it were just Kirishima, but Deku's mom was begging him to go.

That was more than his own mom. And it hurt to see her crumbling without her son.

"You meant the world to your mom, Deku. So why the fuck haven't you turned up yet?"

Did Midoriya have amnesia? Was he on a different planet? In a different universe? Another realm perhaps? Although all of it was unlikely, Katsuki had to cling on to the hope. He had to, because he couldn't bear the thought of Izuku actually being dead. He knew he'd lose his shit, so he pretended that the broccoli boy was still missing despite being claimed as legally dead. He knew the chances were low, but the blond couldn't bring himself to face reality. Especially given their past.

 _"Kacchan! I'm not gonna let you hurt him anymore!"_

 _"Move it, Deku! You're in the way!"_

 _Both friends stood off as the green-haired boy splayed himself protectively in front of another boy that the blond had been tormenting._

 _"No!"_

 _Katsuki's eyes narrowed dangerously as he glowered at Izuku's defiance of him. "And what are you gonna do, Defenseless Izuku? You, like him, are completely Quirkless! You're useless. You don't stand a chance, Deku!"_

 _With that, Bakugo officially destroyed his friendship with Midoriya by beating him up. He left him as a writhing mass on the floor in front of the other Quirkless fellow, whom he'd spared in favor of bullying Deku._

"I never even apologized..." Bakugo muttered to himself as he sifted through the paperwork on his desk. His mind kept spiraling back to his past with Midoriya. He'd tormented, bullied, and physically abused his former childhood friend all throughout high school. He'd hated him, and for no reason, really. Other than petty jealousy, Bakugo supposed.

Deku idolized All Might and that meant someone had a higher priority to him than Bakugo did. And the blond couldn't stand it. He had to be the only thing in Izuku's life, nobody else. After all, Deku was really the only one Katsuki ever really cared for. Others touched him and put their arms around him and he wouldn't bat an eye, because he didn't care enough about them. He didn't care enough to waste energy on them. But Izuku so much as looked at him wrong, and Katsuki wasted all his energy chewing him out.

Katsuki blinked at the sudden realization that maybe, perhaps, he didn't hate Izuku as much as he'd thought. Perhaps, it was quite the opposite. He supposed that the reason he'd always expend energy on the muttering idiot was because...

 _Have I really...? This whole time...?_

Yes, that had to have been the reason for Bakugo Katsuki's unruly behavior towards the other man. The insane jealousy, always expending his energy on the boy - albeit negatively, somehow always gravitating towards the green-haired youth, how his thoughts always came back to him and their shared past, everything. It was all so clear... and all so painful. Why hadn't he realized this sooner?

Katsuki dropped the files he'd been carrying and fell to the floor, eyes wide as tears threatened to fall for the third time in his life, just since he started high school. He clutched his chest and trembled as Izuku's face graced his mind with its presence. How wrong he'd been. He never hated the boy at all. No, now it was painfully obvious. Bakugo Katsuki was in love with Midoriya Izuku, and now the latter had disappeared.

"Bakugo! Are you okay?"

Katsuki could hear the voice but couldn't register whom it belonged to. All he could register was the immense pain and heaviness he felt in his chest. Had he lost his chance to let the freckled boy know how he truly felt? With each year that passed, it was starting to seem that way. But Katsuki had to let Izuku know! He had to. But somehow...

"Bakugo!"

Red eyes snapped upwards as he was brought from his grief-stricken episode. He let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding and collected himself. After picking up the files he'd dropped, he straightened himself out and nodded to Kirishima. Over the past couple of weeks, the red-haired idiot had agreed to help Bakugo set up a new firm, with the sponsorship he'd won. In honor of both Deku and UA, they named it Deku-Plus Agency. Kirishima insisted "Deku" be in the name, and though Bakugo resisted, he eventually gave in. He was now glad he did. The name suited the type of agency it was.

It was going to be a new Hero's Agency. It would specifically hire students from UA, starting with those from his original class at UA that wished to join a new agency. Each Hero was their own and could have their own sidekicks and help and interns. That was the idea. Thus far, only Uravity, Red Riot, and Ground Zero (Bakugo) were part of this setup. Ingenium Mk. II insisted on staying with his parents' company, and others were content with where they were.

That was fine with Bakugo. He was going to build the best hero agency out there, and it was going to be thanks to Deku that it happened.

It's amazing what people learn about themselves when dealing with an existential crisis. Katsuki could've been more pragmatic about his approach, but like always the boy acted first and thought later.

"Bakubro, this is nuts. What do you hope to accomplish by going back here?"

The blond ignored the redhead in favor of marching forward until he was back at the spot. The crater that was left was still there.

"Bro... are you okay...?"

The blonde clenched his fists and shook. "No, I'm fucking not! He's been gone for three fucking years, Kirishima... That shitty nerd. He and I should be competing for top hero right now, but no... I've gone and set up a fucking agency in his honor!"

Kirishima remained silent as he let his friend vent.

"But he's not dead!"

"Dude, he would've turned up by now."

"How can we know that?"

"How can you know he's alive?"

Silence. Dead silence as Katsuki fought with himself. He shook so much that micro-explosions were emitting from his hands at how uncontrolled and unbalanced his emotions were. One of his weakness: his emotions dictated his explosions, they could become unstable and hard to handle if his mood was erratic. He took a shaky breath but calmed himself down.

"I know he's not dead, Kirishima."

"But how?" The redhead looked at his friend worryingly.

"I can feel it. Something inside of me is telling me he's not dead. It's not hope or whatever. It's like... I instinctually know that he's alive and breathing somewhere..."

Kirishima smirked to himself knowingly before he clapped the blonde firecracker on his shoulder. "That's manly to admit. It's because you two have an unspoken bond. A bond that nobody heard but you two. It was in his eyes that day, I saw it. And if I could've seen yours, I'm sure you would've had that same look."

Katsuki looked down and then to Kirishima. "What look...?"

"It was a look that said, 'I'm Not Going Anywhere'. As if those unspoken words meant something to both of you. Something like a promise that you two WILL meet again someday..."

Katsuki stayed silent and steeled himself in resolution. "I'm gonna find him. I will hunt that nerd down until I find him. No matter how long it takes. Heroing is gonna have to wait a bit. That asshole is coming back here."

Kirishima snickered and threw his arm around Katsuki's neck. "Now that's what I'm talkin' about. Count me in! We can always become top heroes when we get back. Right now, we've got a damsel in distress."

"Who said I wanted to you come!?"

"You're not getting rid of me that easily. Come on!" Kirishima faced Bakugo now, arm out in a ninety-degree angle with his hand up, ready to clasp Bakugo's in a manly grip. "Let's find Midoriya!"

Katsuki smirked and took him up on that manly grip. It was time to save a nerd.

 **One Year Later**

"...Deku...?" Red eyes blinked. Hands rubbed those eyes. They blinked again and then looked to a pair of similarly red eyes that also blinked and were rubbed.

Neither of them comprehended what was in front of them because it just suddenly happened. There was a flash of light and suddenly, a green-haired boy was laying on the ground. The very green-haired boy they had been looking for, for almost a year.

In the same spot he'd left in. They'd come back to this spot every 3 months to see if he'd randomly show up there again, but nothing. Until one year later.

"Dude! I'm gonna go call Aizawa!" Kirishima took off running to get better cell service.

Katsuki stared at the unmoving mass before walking over to him tentatively. He poked him in the shoulder and released a breath he didn't know he was holding. The body was warm, and he could see small chest movements.

Suddenly, the missing boy shot straight up with a yelp, eyes opened wide. Katsuki yelped in response and fell backwards, clearly startled by the sudden development of a now awake Izuku Midoriya.

Green eyes met red and it was like time had stopped, Katsuki couldn't breathe. It was actually Deku. It was really, really Deku. Without thinking about it much, the blond placed both of his hands on freckled cheeks and looked, searchingly, into seafoam green. His eyes no doubt had questions, and he needed answers.

"Who- Kacchan!?" Deku's eyes widened to the size of saucers as he realized who was looking at him so intently.

"Deku... where... where have you been? I searched everywhere for you. I started with little towns that wouldn't know your name in case you had amnesia but then... you just-"

"I'll explain everything, Kacchan, but... where are-"

Deku's sentence was cut short as the enemy suddenly appeared with a flash of light too. Only, they weren't unconscious. They were willing and raring to go once more, charging up for another blast. Automatically, Deku got into a defensive position after sending a blast the villain's way.

The villain took a step back and soon both of them were fighting where they'd left off four years ago. This time, though, Bakugo was going to make sure Deku didn't disappear.

Deku was sent flying into the ground, but he pushed himself up and readied himself for the impending blast, yet again.

"Deku! You're not leaving me this time! Not without saying it!"

"Saying what, Kacchan?"

"Say you hate me!"

"I told you... I can't do that."

"Then, say the other thing... Deku..."

Izuku's welled up as the blast came toward him for the second time in his life. "I love you, Kacchan! More than anything, I love you."

That was all Bakugo needed to hear. Standing up, he released his biggest explosion ever. It propelled the villain's blast back at him, along with the explosion, and flung Bakugo and Midoriya backwards from sheer force.

"K-Kacchan!" Deku's head popped up when he regained his senses. He found himself on top of the blond. "Why...?"

"I told you I wasn't losing you for a second time, idiot! Fuck! Get off me," Katsuki growled out, but made no attempts to shove the smaller boy off of him.

"Back there... Kacchan, release a small explosion in my hand!" Midoriya grabbed his childhood friend's hand and held it, activating his quirk. "No questions, just do it..."

Bakugo grumbled but complied, setting off a small explosion in Midoriya's hand. His eyes widened as a white spark erupted from both of their palms and created a new spark-explosion. "What the hell...?"

"Back there... it happened as you set off that big explosion because my quirk was still activated..."

"Ah. You're soulmates."

Both men's heads snapped in the direction of the intruding voice.

"Aizawa-sensei! Woah! You're hair's half-gray now!" Midoriya stood up in a panicked frenzy. He looked over at Bakugo and took a step back, realizing the blonde was buffer and taller. "And Kacchan! You're... so much older now..."

Katsuki's heart dropped. Izuku had no idea, did he? "Deku... you've been gone for four years... I tried to tell you, but honestly... I was just relieved to see you again... to see you were ALIVE..."

Deku's face fell and he nodded soberly. "O-Oh... and my mom...?"

"She's been praying for your safe return... but she... and I... we never gave up hope..."

"Before, you said you were happy to see me again...?" Midoriya looked up at the blond, whose face looked hurt and tired.

"Yes, I fucking did. A year ago... I realized something very important..."

A beat of silence. Aizawa took a few steps back to let them have their moment. He'd explain the soulmates thing once they finally fully reunited.

"What was that, Kacchan...?"

Bakugo's heart swelled. He'd never get over hearing that from this boy's lips. He'd lost some of his pride over the years, particularly in the last year, and done a lot of growing up. He inhaled deeply and looked directly into those seafoam green eyes. "I love you, Izuku."

Deku's heart sung at his first name being called by his childhood friend. "You... haven't called me that since-"

"I know... and... I'm sorry. I treated you like crap because I was too fucking incompetent to understand what I was feeling... I'm just..." Katsuki looked defeated more than anything. His face looked dead as he hugged the now much smaller boy to him. "You're alive, that's all that matters to me..."

"So... Kacchan's 20 now... and I just physically turned 16 not too long ago... I have a lot of catching up to do..."

"Legally, you're 20 though. But since you missed out on so much, you can essentially pick up where you left off in your schooling."

Both heads turned to Aizawa once more. Both once again registered, that yes, their teacher was there. But why?

"Aizawa, what are you doing here?" Katsuki crossed his arms as he pulled from Izuku.

"Kirishima called me when he said you found Midoriya, so naturally I came," Aizawa stated despondently.

"Aizawa-sensei... you mentioned before, about Soulmates...?" Deku tilted his head to the side.

"That reaction between both of your Quirks. It takes the electrical current that you produce when you activate One For All and combine it with Bakugo's Explosion quirk. What results is a Spark Explosion. This type of reaction happens with Soulmates and usually indicates what kind of Quirk their child is going to have, should they have children. Obviously, this isn't always the case as some Soulmates give birth to Quirkless children, but also not all Soulmates can give birth-" Aizawa gestured between the two of them, causing both to blush. "-as with same-sex couples."

"But Kacchan and I have collided with our Quirks before and it's never done that."

"Yes, there is a stipulation. Both Soulmates have to accept their feelings for the other. I'm guessing you'd already done that a long time ago Midoriya." The green-haired boy blushed but nodded.

"Y-yeah..."

"Meanwhile, Bakugo had been fighting with himself the entire time. It wasn't until, as he said, a year ago that he finally accepted his feelings. Thus, the reaction came about now, rather than back then when he still didn't accept himself."

Bakugo pouted a bit. Yep, he was definitely the jackass in this scenario. They could've had much stronger combined attacks had he just accepted what he felt. _Would've made for some kickass fights..._

"Anyways, let's get Midoriya back to Tokyo Center, we need to have his death certificate revoked-"

"Death certificate!?"

"Yes, Midoriya. When we couldn't find you after a three-"

"Four."

"Right, four months of searching, you were proclaimed dead and the investigations and searches were called off."

Midoriya was silent for a while before he nodded. "I understand... Aizawa-sensei...?"

The noirette looked at his former, soon to be current, student with a head tilt. "Yes?"

"Can I talk to Kacchan before we head back... alone? And... before we head to Tokyo Center, can we stop by my house? I think my mom deserves to be one of the first people to know I'm back..."

Aizawa nodded at those requests before ushering Kirishima with him to the Villain, taking care to wrap him up in his... wraps.

"I... wanted to tell you first. Since they'll probably make me tell them what exactly happened..." Deku looked at his hands and fidgeted slightly. "When the blast it... it ricocheted and hit him too. Probably because of my Quirk. In an act of desperation, he teleported to a different realm. But because the blast connected us, I also was dragged with. In this realm... it was like time didn't exist. To me... it felt like he'd only been fighting for a few minutes. Then the same thing happened again, and we wound up back here I guess. But... what was only a few minutes for me in that weird realm was four years here..."

Katsuki remained silent before letting his shoulders relax. He pressed his forehead against the younger man's.

"Kacchan?" Green eyes adorning a flushed face looked up curiously at the now much older man before him.

"I'm just... relieved that you're actually here, Deku... I think I would've gone crazy without you..." Katsuki was more honest with himself than he'd ever been in childhood or teenage years.

Deku giggled slightly and smiled that award-winning smile. "Well, have no fear... 'cause I am here."

That earned the broccoli boy a soft smack on the head. "Lame."

 **One Year Later**

Bakugo sat on the couch after a long, tedious day of rescue work. His agency had gone off without a hitch and when Deku got word of the Agency, he was touched. He resigned himself to one day working for that agency.

 _"I don't wanna get in just cause it's me. I want to be the right candidate for the job, Kacchan, okay?"_

 _"I'm not gonna hire you if you're useless, fucking nerd..." Katsuki sighed and scratched the back of his head. "... but I do know your capabilities... after all, you're the first person to come back from the dead... I don't think anything will stop you with your progress..."_

 _"Kacchan, you just-" Rosiness splattered freckled cheeks._

 _"Yeah, I just praised you. Get over it." Katsuki turned his head, cheeks also red from it._

Bakugo had just shut his eyes when a knock was heard at his door. He groaned, and loudly. "Come in, the door's fucking unlocked."

"Bad Kacchan. I could've been a villain coming to kill you."

Katsuki sighed out. "I'd welcome death at this point."

"Work that bad?" The green-haired boy settled in right next to the blond with a smile. He'd gotten a little taller, about 15 centimeters.

"Shouldn't you be studying? You've got midterms soon, y'know."

"Yeah, and I'm number one in my class. Besides I soak all the information in like a sponge, you know me." Midoriya grinned at the blonde who eyed him with a raised brow.

"Yet for the longest time, you struggled with English and Japanese Literature."

"Well, I've gotten much better. I took your advice."

Katsuki looked at him curiously. "And what advice did you take? I've hurdled lots at you."

"Minimized my, as you put it, 'nerding'. I still do it on occasion, but I don't do in-depth research like I used to, and instead using that time to work on strengthening subject weaknesses or physical weaknesses," Izuku nodded and Katsuki smirked.

"Look at you, growing up into a man." He ruffled the green hair. Within another second, green eyes had him pinned in place as the younger boy straddled his lap. "Deku... what-"

His question was cut off as pink lips crushed into his own. He sighed inwardly and let him continue before the latter pulled away. "It took me three months to muster up the courage to kiss you and another three to get you to agree to date me, Kacchan. I'm gonna abuse the hell out of that by claiming those lips for myself."

"You're too damn forward." A blush crept up the older man's face as Deku gained a mischievous look in his eyes.

"But it's one of the things you love about me..."

Katsuki sighed in defeat, almost giving up on the whole 'sighing' thing as a whole. "You got me there, nerd." He ran his hands through wavy curls of green, content. His heart was whole. "Deku, you're never to leave me like that again, got that..."

Deku nodded and nuzzled the blonde's neck. "I'd never dream of it, Kacchan. I'll drag you with me if I have to."

Bakugo smiled as they remained in that position. He closed his eyes and let silence fill the room at the rare peaceful moment. He could almost hear Deku's heart beating. _As long as that heart beats, I will always come find you..._

After another moment, Katsuki opened his eyes and looked at the ceiling. "Hey... Deku..."

"Mmm? Yeah, Kacchan?"

"Say it."

"Say what?"

"Say you love me."

Deku smiled softly and pecked Katsuki's cheek.

"I love you, Katsuki."

* * *

 **It took me 3 months to write this garbage. I hope you all enjoy it.**  
 **I have a few chaptered fics planned so be on the lookout.**

 **Your author,**  
 **Nova**


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